The honest, low-pressure breakdown of both options.


There are few things that get debated more in the wedding world than the first look. Some couples love the idea of seeing each other privately before the ceremony. Others want that traditional aisle moment with all the butterflies.


If you’re not sure which is right for you, you're not alone. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer—but I can help you understand the pros and cons of each so you can feel good about the choice you make.


Let’s break it down.

First Look: The Pros

1. It doesn’t take away from the aisle moment.

So many couples worry that doing a first look will “ruin” the big walk down the aisle—but in reality, it often makes it even more emotional. You’ve already shaken off the nerves and connected privately, which means when you lock eyes again during the ceremony, it hits just as hard—sometimes even harder.

2. You get time alone—really alone.

Wedding days move fast. A first look is often one of the only times you’ll be alone together without anyone else watching (other than me with a long lens from 10 feet away). It gives you a private space to breathe, hug, cry, and soak in what’s happening.

3. It saves serious time (and stress) later in the day.

From the photography side, a first look is a game-changer. We can get so much more done earlier—couples portraits, full wedding party photos, and even family formals—before the ceremony ever starts. That means fewer moving parts after the ceremony, better light for portraits, and a more relaxed transition into cocktail hour and reception time. Instead of rushing through photos while guests wait (or missing cocktail hour entirely), you get to actually enjoy that part of the day—with a drink in hand, not a photo list in hand.

4. It calms the nerves.

If you're someone who gets anxious or overwhelmed, seeing your partner before the ceremony can ground you. That pressure of "everyone's staring at me" melts a little when you've already had your moment.

5. Your timeline opens up.

A first look gives you flexibility. It allows for more breathing room, more light to work with, and fewer rushed transitions later in the day.


First Look: The Cons

1. It’s not the “traditional” moment.

If you’ve always dreamed of locking eyes for the first time at the altar, a first look might feel like it takes away from that moment.

2. The schedule starts earlier.

Because portraits happen earlier, you’ll need to be ready sooner—sometimes by 1–2 hours, depending on your ceremony time. That’s not a deal-breaker, but worth considering when planning hair/makeup.

3. You might still feel nervous walking down the aisle.

A first look can help calm nerves, but it doesn’t eliminate them entirely—and for some, that’s part of the magic.

Couple sharing a tender first look moment in a brick-lined covered walkway at their wedding.
A couple share a moment during their first look, with the bride holding a white bouquet in an elegant indoor setting.
A couple wearing formal wedding attire smiles while walking together outdoors in a park setting.
A romantic first look moment in the woods between a bride in white dress and groom in a grey suit.
A couple shares an intimate moment in a dreamy birch forest setting during their wedding celebration.
A couple stands on a scenic lakeside dock surrounded by mountains in wedding attire.

Aisle Reveal: The Pros

1. The moment is BIG.

There’s something truly electric about the ceremony moment—the music, the guests, the anticipation. For some couples, that’s the moment they’ve imagined forever.

2. You get the full build-up.

No spoilers. No pregame. You each get to experience the weight and joy of the moment exactly as it happens, in front of the people you love.

3. It keeps with tradition.

If you're honoring religious or cultural customs, an aisle reveal may be the most meaningful or expected part of the day.


Aisle Reveal: The Cons

1. You won’t see each other until later.

Which means more time apart on the day that’s about the two of you. That can be tough if you’re already nervous or just want your person by your side.

2. Portraits happen after the ceremony.

That means missing some (or all) of your cocktail hour, and often squeezing photos into a tighter window—especially if we’re chasing light.

3. The pressure is real.

If you're not a “center of attention” kind of person, the public nature of the aisle moment can feel intense. A first look can ease some of that emotional weight.

Wedding party stands at altar with groom in white tuxedo next to floral arrangements during elegant ceremony.
A joyful wedding moment captured as couple walks together with flowers and formal attire down outdoor steps.
Wedding guests in formal attire watching a ceremony outdoors with trees in the background.
A smiling pair walking arm in arm at an outdoor wedding ceremony with a white peony bouquet.
A traditional church wedding ceremony takes place in an ornate cathedral with vaulted ceilings and stained glass windows.
A happy moment during a formal wedding ceremony as the bride in a white dress holds a blue and white bouquet.
A black and white wedding ceremony taking place in front of a grand neoclassical building with columns.
Smiling groomsman in black tuxedo and glasses shown with multiple portrait angles at a formal wedding event.
Two people walk down the aisle at an outdoor wedding ceremony while guests look on from white chairs.

Alternatives to a First Look

Not totally sold on seeing each other before the ceremony—but still want to connect? You’ve got options. Here are a few ways to create a private moment without doing a full first look:

🖐 First Touch

Stand back-to-back, around a doorframe, or just out of sight and hold hands. You can share a few words, exchange notes or vows, or just take a deep breath together. It’s intimate, calming, and keeps the “first look” moment for the aisle.


💌 Private Vow Exchange (No Look)

Write your vows and read them aloud to each other—either while hidden around a corner or standing apart with eyes closed. It’s a meaningful way to share that moment privately while still saving the visual reveal.


🎁 Gift or Letter Exchange

Send a handwritten letter or thoughtful gift to your partner to open during getting ready. It builds anticipation and emotion, even if you don’t physically see each other before the ceremony.


📞 Phone Call or Audio Message

Some couples share a quick phone call, voice memo, or even a recorded video message before the ceremony. It’s a small, sweet way to connect, especially if you're more introverted or want to avoid a teary-eyed aisle walk.

So… What’s Right for You?

There’s no wrong answer here. The real question is:


How do you want to feel when you see each other for the first time on your wedding day?


Private and grounded? Go for the first look.

Dramatic and all-eyes-on-you? Stick with the aisle reveal.

Want a little of both? Pick one of the alternative options.


Whatever you choose, just know that I’ll be there to document it honestly, gently, and without pulling you out of the moment. And trust me—no matter how you see each other for the first time, it’s always a good one.